Ask How – Not What

We are days away from the month of May, bringing with it spring flowers, the Indy 500 and transitions. Yes, many young people will be graduating from high school or college and facing big life changes. As a professional communicator and mom of two young adults graduating from college, here is insight for everyone interacting with a graduate of any type.

I first shared this public service announcement back in 2021 when my daughter was making her final college selection after having the end of her high school years gutted by COVID. Stress levels were running high then, and ironically are again four years later as the economy is tanking thus making the job search tough for college grads.  These young people, no matter how confident they may appear, are feeling pressure.

More than ever, these young adults need the older people in their lives to be astute communicators who show they care without judging. I offer a DON'T and several DOs for conversations with graduates taking place over the month of May.

DO NOT ask them pointed questions about their job search or their college choice, let them offer up what they want to share. The odds are good that the choices and options change daily. Don't add to the pressure cooker.

DO ask them how they are doing TODAY. This question opens the door to whatever is on their mind at the moment. As a caring person in their life, knowing HOW they are doing is more important than knowing their "plans."

DO acknowledge that the world seems a bit upside down. Saying “at least you are not graduating during a pandemic (or insert other global catastrophe here)” is not helpful.  This is their time and their reality, and comparisons don’t make them feel better.

DO encourage them. Kind words go a long way - not advice, just kind words.

DO say I love you!

Focusing on the HOW not the WHAT will create conversations that mean the most to the Class of 2025.

Congratulations, Class of 2025!